It's Time to Talk: Men's Mental Health Matters

November marks Men's Mental Health Awareness Month, a vital opportunity to shine a light on an issue that affects thousands of men across the UK yet remains too often hidden behind closed doors. Whilst conversations about mental health have opened up in recent years, many men still struggle in silence, held back by outdated expectations and the fear of appearing weak.

The truth is this: reaching out isn't weakness. It's one of the bravest things a man can do.

The Reality We Face

The statistics paint a sobering picture. In 2023, 74% of deaths by suicide in England were male, with men aged 45-49 being the most likely age group to die by suicide. The suicide rate for males in England and Wales increased to 17.4 deaths per 100,000 in 2023, the highest rate for males seen since 1999. Suicide remains the biggest killer of men under 50 in the UK.

Yet despite these alarming figures, 40% of men have never spoken to anyone about their mental health. Just 36% of all NHS referrals for psychological therapies are for men, even though 12.5% of men in England have a mental health disorder.

Why this disconnect? Among those who don't talk about their mental health, 29% say they are "too embarrassed" to speak about it, whilst 20% cite a "negative stigma". Even more concerning, 22% of men said they would not feel comfortable speaking to their GP or any other professional about their mental health, with many worrying it would be a waste of their GP's time.

The Weight of Expectations

From childhood onwards, many men absorb messages about what it means to be masculine: be strong, stay in control, don't cry, sort things out yourself. These expectations stem from restrictive norms around masculinity, such as needing to appear strong, emotionless, or in control, which have contributed to poorer mental health outcomes for men.

When struggling becomes equated with failing, when vulnerability is seen as something to hide rather than honour, men can find themselves trapped. They carry the weight alone, believing that's what they're supposed to do, even as that weight becomes unbearable.

The biggest causes of mental health issues in men's lives are work (32%), finances (31%) and their health (23%). Life's pressures are real, and they compound. Middle age can be particularly difficult, as the weight of long-term decisions reveals itself and life rarely matches the expectations we once held.

Recognising When You're Struggling

Mental health challenges don't always announce themselves clearly. In men, they can appear as:

• Persistent irritability or unexplained anger

• Withdrawing from friends, family and activities you once enjoyed

• Changes in sleep patterns or constant fatigue

• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions

• Physical symptoms like headaches, digestive issues or unexplained pain

• Increased alcohol or substance use

• Reckless behaviour or taking unnecessary risks

• Feeling persistently empty, hopeless or numb
  

Men are nearly three times more likely than women to become alcohol dependent, with 4.3% of men having a dependency. Men also account for 74% of those admitted to hospital for drug-related mental and behavioural disorders.

These signs aren't character flaws. They're indicators that you need support, just as chest pain would tell you to seek medical help.

The Courage to Reach Out

If you're reading this and recognising yourself in these words, please know: you're not alone, and help is available.

Talking to someone you trust can be the first step. A friend, family member, colleague or your partner - someone who will listen without judgment. When men do choose to speak up, 66% share their feelings with their partner above anyone else.

Speaking to your GP is another important option. They can assess your situation, suggest treatment options, and refer you to specialist services if needed. If you're struggling to approach your GP, you might find it helpful to write down what you want to say beforehand, or take someone with you for support.

NHS talking therapies are free and have helped countless men work through their difficulties. You can refer yourself directly to these services without going through your GP, simply search "NHS talking therapies near me" online.

If you're in immediate crisis or having thoughts of suicide, reach out now. Call 999, attend A&E, or contact one of the crisis helplines listed below. For 40% of men, it would take thoughts of suicide or self-harm to compel them to get professional help, but it doesn't have to reach that point. The earlier you seek support, the better.

Additional Challenges

It's important to acknowledge that some groups of men face particular barriers. Due to systemic racism and social expectations of masculinity, Black men are more likely to hide their mental health struggles, are more likely to be sectioned under the Mental Health Act, and face disproportionate barriers to seeking help. Other marginalised groups, including South Asian men, LGBTQIA+ men, and men with disabilities, may also face additional stigma, cultural barriers, or lack of culturally competent services.

If you're part of a marginalised community, there are organisations specifically designed to support you. Don't let additional barriers stop you from getting the help you deserve.

For Those Who Care

If there's a man in your life who seems to be struggling, your support can be life-changing. Create opportunities for genuine conversation. Ask directly: "How are you really doing?" or "I've noticed you've seemed different lately, I'm here if you want to talk."

Listen without immediately trying to fix things. Sometimes the most powerful gift we can offer is our presence and our willingness to hear what someone is experiencing.

If you're concerned they might be suicidal, you can ask them directly. It's a misconception that talking about suicide will "put the idea" into their heads. Research shows that talking or asking about suicidal thoughts is actually more likely to save a person's life.

Encourage professional help when it's needed, and offer practical support, helping them find services, accompanying them to appointments, or checking in regularly can make a real difference.

Moving Forward Together

Men's Mental Health Awareness Month isn't just about awareness, it's about action. It's about creating a culture where men feel safe to be vulnerable, where asking for help is normalised, and where no one suffers alone simply because they feel they're supposed to cope.

The UK government has recently announced plans for the first-ever Men's Health Strategy, acknowledging that mental health and suicide prevention must be priority areas. This is progress, but real change happens in everyday conversations, in workplaces, in friendships, and in families.

Every time a man speaks up about his struggles, he makes it easier for another man to do the same. Every conversation we have, every moment we choose honesty over silence, we contribute to saving lives.

If you're struggling today, please remember: your life matters. Your feelings are valid. Reaching out isn't giving up - it's taking control. And help is genuinely available.

UK Mental Health Support Services

If you're in immediate crisis:

• Emergency Services: Call 999 or go to A&E

• NHS 111: Call 111 and select option 2 for urgent mental health support (24/7)

• Samaritans: Call 116 123 (24/7, free from any phone)
  

Mental health helplines and support:

• CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably): 0800 58 58 58 (5pm–midnight daily) or webchat at thecalmzone.net

• Mind Infoline: 0300 102 1234 (9am–6pm, Monday–Friday) or email [email protected]

• SANEline: 0300 304 7000 (4.30pm–10pm daily)

• National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK: 0800 587 0800 (6pm–midnight daily)

• Shout Crisis Text Line: Text SHOUT to 85258 (24/7)

• Papyrus HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 (available 24/7)
  

Men-specific support:

• Talk Club: Men's talking and listening groups (mentalhealth-uk.org)

• Men's Health Forum: Information and resources at menshealthforum.org.uk

• Hub of Hope: UK-wide mental health database at hubofhope.co.uk
  

LGBTQIA+ support:

• Switchboard LGBT+: 0300 330 0630 (10am–10pm daily)

• MindOut: LGBTQ+ mental health support at mindout.org.uk
  

For loved ones:

• CALM: Guidance on supporting friends at thecalmzone.net

• Mind: Tips on talking about mental health at mind.org.uk
  

You can also search for local NHS talking therapies services in your area online or speak to your GP about referral options.